


A Home in You

by telkiss



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Streetstuck, Coming of Age, M/M, THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL, idk how to properly tag this stuff guys sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 10:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telkiss/pseuds/telkiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Do you not want to go home?”</i><br/><i>You paused, aware that you had shown fear. You silently cursed yourself for showing emotion when Dirk could hide his so well. But Karkat knew now. So you shook your head and whispered, “No, I don’t.”</i><br/><i>Karkat was silent for a moment before he whispered back, “Neither do I.”</i><br/>--<br/>Modern-Day AU where Karkat and Dave grew up together in a trailer park, only to be torn away from each other. They meet again in a place they least expect and have to face the unanswered past they had together while working toward an uncertain future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_You met him when you were both young. Meeting him is one of your earliest memories, actually; you can’t remember much from the early childhood years before you met, but you have vivid memories of what came after it. You suppose it’s fitting that you can’t remember a time when he wasn’t a part of your life, not really._

_You were just a kid sitting on a swing in the middle of a park, kicking dirt up with your shoe. You knew it was going to get dark soon because the sky was a brilliant shade of orange-red from the setting sun, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go home just yet. You told yourself that you would head home when the streetlights came on, because that’s when the teenagers started hanging around the park. You told yourself that you just wanted to play for a little longer._

_So when a boy walked up to you, casting a shadow over you and effectively blocking the sun, you looked up at him in surprise from behind your shades._

_“Hey,” the kid said, a frown on his face, and you had to squint a little to make his face out. “Are you using the swing?”_

_There was something about the way he said it that made him sound like he was angry, even though his question was harmless enough. Still, this was the first time anyone had spoken to you all day and you felt like being a little shit._

_“I’m sitting on it, aren’t I?” you countered, shrugging and kicking up some more dirt. You got a little on his white shoes, and when you looked back up at him he was scowling._

_“But you’re not even swinging! Let someone else use the swing if you’re just going to sit there,” he practically shouted._

_It was true that the swing next to you and the other two were made for toddlers, so this was the only working swing. Still, you fought back. “I was sitting here first. Wait your turn.”_

_The boy growled in frustration, crossing his arms and baring his teeth. You took the moment to look him up and down, noticing that you had never seen him before. You knew most of the kids in the neighborhood even if you didn’t really speak to them, but you didn’t recognize him._

_He had tan skin, which let you know that he was Hispanic (after living in South Florida all your life, you’ve learned that it’s easier to assume that someone is Hispanic than it is not to), and his hair was dark and curly and stuck up in tufts, which implied that he hadn’t brushed his hair in weeks, probably. He also had thick lips that only helped frame his white teeth when he scowled, which appeared to be sharp even though you knew they weren’t. He was wearing similar clothes as you, with a snapback on, an Ed Hardy shirt, and loose-fitting jeans. It was the general attire of kids who lived in trailer parks outside Miami._

_Finally, he moved past you so that he was out of your sight. You sighed and kicked at the dirt even harder, wondering if you should have been nicer so that he would have stayed and talked to you. Maybe you could have been friends if you hadn’t—_

_Your self-reflection was cut short by a shove on your back, and you fell forward with an “oof!” You turned around to look back at the perpetrator, only to see the boy smirking at you from behind the swing._

_“Sorry,” he said smugly, “I just thought you could use a push to get you swinging.”_

_You tried to keep the straight face that you’d always been taught to keep, but you let a hint of a frown come out. You could have come up with something witty to say in response, like Dirk would’ve wanted you to, but instead you just stood up and pushed the boy back, like dad would’ve wanted you to._

_He anticipated the shove and grabbed your hands with his, pushing back against you with as much force. The swing was between you, so you used the momentum of him pushing himself against you to pull him back so that he tripped over the swing and flipped onto his back. You smirked at him from where you stood triumphantly for only a moment before he kicked your shin and you fell onto your back as well. Then he was on top of you in a second._

_You went on pushing and shoving each other for a good minute before you heard someone call your name. You didn’t bother to register it as you shoved a fistful of dirt into the other boy’s hair, but suddenly someone was yanking you up and off of him._

_You looked up to see your older brother frowning at you from behind his shades. He had his fist hooked into the back of your shirt, and you’d been in this position enough times to know that no matter how hard you kicked or screamed, you wouldn’t be able to get out of it._

_“Dave, what the hell?” Dirk asked you intensely, in the way that you knew he was angry and serious. “Why are you fighting with this kid?”_

_“He started it!” you yelled, pointing to the boy who was standing up and wiping dirt off his face. “He pushed me off the swing!”_

_Dirk paused, then looked down at the kid. He looked a little scared now that your older brother had shown up and you couldn’t help but feel a little smug, even if it annoyed you that your older brother was trying to fight your battle for you._

_“Is this true?” Dirk asked, voice low. It was intimidating in the best way possible. “Did you really push my lil bro off the swing?”_

_“I-I,” the boy started, clearly terrified, “I did, yeah, but only because he was being a big butt-face! He was being mean and wouldn’t let me swing even after I asked nicely.”_

_“Is this true, Dave?” Dirk asked, turning to you, and you were suddenly the one who was terrified._

_“No! I mean, um, maybe. Yeah. But he didn’t ask nicely though!”_

_“I did too!” the boy retorted._

_Dirk sighed and let go of his grip on you. He massaged his temples with his hands for a moment before saying, “Alright, how about this: Dave, let the kid use the swing if he asks nicely. And kid—what’s your name?”_

_“Karkat,” the boy answered._

_“And Karkat, don’t fucking push people just because you don’t get your way. I know my brother may be a little shit but if you ever push him again you’re gonna answer to me.”_

_Karkat gulped and nodded sheepishly, lowering his gaze. You would feel more triumphant if Dirk hadn’t told you off as well._

_“Dirk!” you heard someone yell, and you all turned to see a guy in a black hoodie at the edge of the park. You realized that it was about that time that the teenagers would start taking over the park, and that’s why your brother had been there in the first place. Dirk lifted up a hand to him, then put that same hand down on your head and ruffled your hair._

_“Okay little man, you should head home. Dad’s gonna be worried if we’re both out of the house. And play nice this time, alright?”_

_You nodded, and with that he turned and walked toward the shady kid. You pouted for a minute before you realized that the boy, Karkat, was watching you and you let your face fall back into its usual neutral expression. You turned and started walking toward the edge of the park, walked out the entrance and started walking down your street without so much as a goodbye._

_It took you a couple of minutes to realize that he was following you down the street._

_You turned and watched him out of the corner of your eye, only to see him staring down at his feet. He was hopping over all of the cracks in the sidewalk, not really paying attention to where he was going. It bothered you to some extent, but you didn’t know why. After a few more minutes of being annoyed without having any real reason to be, you finally decided to turn around ask with as much intensity as you could muster, “Why are you following me?”_

_Karkat stopped in his tracks from where he was standing a few feet away from you. He looked at you, pursing his lips for a moment, before he frowned and said, “I’m not following you, dummy. I live on this road.”_

_It was your turn to frown, because you would definitely have known if there was another kid living on your street. You racked your brain for a couple seconds before you remembered a small moving truck outside of the trailer next to yours. Suddenly you groaned._

_“Ugh, that was you moving in? You’re right next to me.”_

_“Really?” Karkat asked, eyes wide. “Oh.”_

_You turned and started walking together for a few moments before he said, “Do you want to come over tomorrow and see my Pokemon cards?”_

_And in the way that children do, you immediately forgot that you had ever fought and were making plans with the new friend that you’d made._

_You walked home together, chatting about your newfound common interest, and saw that your dad was sitting in front of the trailer, chain-smoking. You were about to walk into your home when Karkat told you that he had just built a really sweet treehouse with his new stepdad and that you should totally check it out with him. You knew that if you walked back into your home you would be faced with boredom, lonely as you were with nothing to do, so you decided that waving to your dad would be a good enough signal to let him know that you were home, and you went over to the tree that was situated between your two yards._

_You played inside his treehouse from six in the afternoon until it was well into the night, using only a flashlight that he had in there as a light source. You played house together, except no one was the husband or wife; you were just two guys that lived together. And then when that got boring you pretended that you were actually both knights, and those were your living quarters. You climbed down the tree and grabbed some branches, using them as swords. You eventually lost track of time, but time has a way of catching up with you._

_“Dave!” you heard your dad holler. You immediately cringed and stopped laughing. You glanced out the window to see him sauntering about drunkenly, knowing that he had had a couple beers. “Where are you? Get in the house!”_

_Your dad was a man who had a pot-belly, with a round, flushed face. He was balding, and he always had on the same type of sunglasses that you did. He was mostly able to keep his composure, but when he was drunk he was unable to be reasoned with. This was a fact that both you and Dirk knew rather well._

_Karkat leaned out the square hole in the wall that you called a window to see him, too, and suddenly you were embarrassed. You drew back and pulled his sleeve so that he would sit down with you._

_“Turn off the light,” you whispered, and he did so. It was now pitch-black in the room, despite having been unable to see much with your shades on before. You hoped that this would make you completely invisible from your dad._

_He hollered your name again and you began to plan out an escape route. Maybe if you hopped in your room through your window you would be able to pretend that you were in your room all along and your dad just hadn’t noticed._

_“Dave,” Karkat whispered, and you looked at him only to realize that you were still holding on to his sleeve. You let go, only to find him reaching for your hand with his a beat later. “Do you not want to go home?”_

_You paused, aware that you had shown fear. You silently cursed yourself for showing emotion when Dirk could hide his so well. But Karkat knew, now. So you shook your head and whispered, “No, I don’t.”_

_Karkat was silent for a moment before he whispered back, “Neither do I.”_

 ---

You didn’t think that you would ever be used to the stiff collar of your uniform or the marble floors of the halls (not to mention the stupid-looking penny loafers you were required to wear so as not to “damage the floors”), but you had worked hard to be there so you weren’t about to complain. Besides, this private school was a major step-up from the public school you would have had to go to if you hadn’t gotten a good scholarship here.

It was mid-September, though, so you felt like you had a handle on how things ran in this school. You had already made a few friends on your own without Rose’s aid, thank you very much. You spotted John standing by his locker—another liberty that wasn’t allowed in public schools due to the abuse of students who hid drugs in them—as he chatted animatedly with someone in a dark gray sweater. He spotted you in a moment, waving at you with a smile as he called, “Hi Dave!”

You responded with a nod toward him. “Sup, Egbert?”

“Nothing much,” he answered to your somewhat rhetorical question. Your eyes started sliding over to acknowledge his companion. “We’re just talking about the English test. Well, arguing about it, really. I didn’t really get Lady Macbeth’s speech but Karkat over here claims to be an expert in Shakespearean romance. Oh, have you met Karkat, Dave?”

You would have recognized those gray eyes anywhere.

Said gray eyes were staring at you widely, as if he was seeing a ghost (not that you could blame him. You felt the same, after all.) He was shorter than you now, you noted with a strange pang of some emotion you couldn’t identify. He looked tiny and somewhat ridiculous in his oversized sweater, attire that you never imagined you’d see him in. His face had grown to fit his teeth, but you noted with some comfort that he still had a bit of an overbite. You then noted the tiny, silver cross around his neck with disdain.

You realized that John was waiting for an answer from you. If it hadn’t been for years of growing up in the Strider household, you don’t think you would have been able to easily shrug your shoulder and say, “Yeah, we’ve met.”

John eyed you curiously, picking up on the weird vibe between you two. Fortunately, he didn’t comment on it.

“Well, we should really get going to the bus loop,” John said as he closed his locker and turned to start walking, both you and Karkat following obediently. “I really can’t miss my bus today! I have piano lessons after school, and my teacher is always super angry when I’m late. My dad said that if I’m late one more time…”

John babbled on for the rest of the walk to the bus, either completely unaware of the tension between you and Karkat or perfectly aware and chatting aimlessly to avoid any awkward pauses in conversation. Either way, you silently thanked him for his amiable nature.

You took the time to try and make sense of the huge flood of emotions that came with running into Karkat again. More than anything, you were surprised. You had come to terms with the fact that you would never see your childhood friend again long ago, and here you were, only three years later, both standing in a place that you would have never envisioned yourself. In the many times that you thought up the scenario, you certainly never could have imagined that you would have met up in a private school that you both attended.

In a way, though, you were also angry. You found that you couldn’t really look at him, not allowing yourself to glance over at him while you pointedly looked away. You’re certain that there had to be some explanation as to why he had suddenly disappeared from your life without so much as a goodbye, but you found that you didn’t really want to hear it.

And, most disgusting of all, you found that there was a part of you, however small it may have been, that was absolutely giddy. Your heart was skipping in a way that it hadn’t in a while, and you had to exercise special restraint in not scooping him up into your arms right then and there. Your happiness only made you angrier.

“…don’t understand why you don’t just take the bus, Karkat,” John was saying, and you automatically tuned in at the mention of his name. “We live in the same neighborhood, and the car loop takes so long with people in it.”

John’s neighborhood was the exact opposite of the trailer park that Dave and Karkat grew up in, complete with a gated community and pools in almost every home. You couldn’t help but cock an eyebrow, wondering how Karkat had gone from trailer trash to suburban royalty in only a matter of years. But then you realized that he was probably wondering the same thing about you.

“I told you already,” he responded with a pout. His voice was deeper, but it still held the growl that always made it feel like he was yelling at you. “My mom likes picking me up. It’s not like she has much else to do.”

John just shrugged, and you could tell that Karkat was incredibly annoyed. He then turned to you. “Thanks for walking me to the bus, Dave.”

You didn’t usually run into John before he walked to his bus, and you immediately decided that you never would again. Still, you shrugged and murmured, “No problem, Egbert. The longer I can make Lalonde wait for me, the better.”

John only giggled and then waved goodbye as he ran toward the bus that was about to leave. You felt a strong breeze go by as he did so, and when the dust settled it was just you and Karkat staring after him.

Finally, you turned to face him. He was looking up at you, too, trying to come up with something to say. For once, Karkat was speechless.

You were also racking your brain to come up with something to say, but nothing seemed right. You had written out a million one-liners for just this occasion, and yet not a single one made its way past your tongue. There were just too many things to say, too many words that would lead to other conversations. If you chose the right words here, you could open a number of doors.

Instead, you ended up choosing the ones that would keep them closed.

“I’ll see you around, I guess,” you murmured, then turned on your heel and walked in the direction of the bikes without waiting for a response. It didn’t matter, because he didn’t say anything else.

You wish you could have resisted the temptation of turning around to look back, but you were powerless as your head moved around to glance back.

He had pulled his sweater up so that it covered half his face, only leaving his eyes exposed. His brows were furrowed as he looked down and away, forlorn. A pang of guilt rose in your chest as you realized that you were the one to put that troubled look in his eyes.

You really wished that you hadn’t turned around then. You felt as though you had seen something you shouldn’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first serious fic in a while, guys, so I'm still getting into the swing of things. Thanks for checking me out, anyways!! It may start out a bit slow because this is a coming-of-age story, but I promise that there will eventually be porn!! There will also be a few more characters/pairings introduced later on, but the main focus is on Dave and Karkat. I just like to play around with the canonverse a little~  
> I would like to thank concaveadversary on tumblr for being my beta reader! If you're interested in beta reading as well or just have any comments/questions/etc. about the fic, feel free to message me on tumblr at the url strider-sister. Any kudos or bookmarks are much appreciated!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little long and a little late, but Halloween parties and water parks are never out of season.

_You had both gotten in trouble that night, but you found that if you sat on top of the toilet in your bathroom and looked out the window, you could see him in his room if he decided to look out his own window. Karkat discovered this rather quickly, as well, and you waved to each other and opened the windows to start talking. Your houses were close enough that you didn’t need to shout or anything, but Karkat did anyways._

_When you weren’t grounded anymore you were able to go over to Karkat’s house and meet his parents. His mother was, as you presumed, Hispanic, and you learned that she had just gotten married to a man named Jack. He looked sleek and mean and you got the feeling that he would stab you if you weren’t only six years old. Either way, they asked why you wore sunglasses in the house and you explained that it was an eye condition that ran in your family, not that you were disrespectful. You got the feeling that his mother didn’t really buy it and she asked you a few more times why you wore them, but it became evident to her that you were never going to take them off._

_Karkat also came over to your house with just as much frequency, and Dirk was amused to see that you two had become friends._

_“Of all the people you could have made friends with you chose the one that you got in a fight with. Of course you did, Dave.”_

_You spent the rest of that summer almost entirely with Karkat. It wasn’t like you had anyone else to speak to, really, and you found that you both had a lot in common. At one point you both tried to make the telephone out of two red solo cups and a wire, but when you tried to use it to talk to each other from each other’s houses, you found that the sounds just came out like loose vibrations. You left the project there and never tried to use it again, but the cups stayed between your houses for years to come. On another day you both tried to convince your parents to let you go to a water park, but they both countered with money issues. You both immediately went to Dirk, who said that he would see what he could do about the water park, but he could do something else in the meantime._

_“You’re brother’s so cool,” Karkat murmured. You were both standing in your swimming trunks, waiting with anticipation as a shirtless Dirk set up the sprinkler in between your two yards._

_You shrugged. “I mean, yeah. Any Strider is cool.”_

_Karkat just watched him with wide eyes, full of admiration. You didn’t know why but it made you a little angry, so you pushed him. He let out a yelp of surprise but then pushed you back before the sprinkler finally started working. You both ran to it and hopped in as Dirk chuckled and looked off to the side._

_About a week later Dirk told you that he had saved up enough money from his job to take you to the water park. The only condition was that you couldn’t tell dad._

_“Why not?” you asked him. “I didn’t even know you had a job, Dirk!”_

_Dirk shrugged. “I mean I’ve just been fixing people’s cars and stuff. It’s no big deal. Dad doesn’t approve of it though, so you can’t tell him.”_

_“Okay,” you agreed, because you got to go to a waterpark. “I don’t get why, but if you say so.”_

_Dirk ruffled your hair. “Maybe you’ll get it when you’re older… We’ll go on Saturday when dad’s working all day.”_

_True to form, Dirk took you and Karkat to the water park. Karkat held his hand as you all crossed the street to get there, passing by casinos and liquor stores that were closed at eight o’clock in the morning. You teased him for it, but Dirk told you not to be an ass, so Karkat stuck his tongue out at you and held on tighter to Dirk. His clinginess to your brother was a little annoying, but Dirk didn’t seem to mind it himself. You sort of wish he did._

_You had a great day at the water park, running around and splashing each other every which way. You rode every ride that you could and ate a burger and ice cream at about noon, which you didn’t throw up on the next ride. You were very proud of yourself._

_Even Dirk found some friends at the water park: two pretty girls. They laughed and splashed around with you, and even said that you were “like a cute little version of Dirkie!” You didn’t appreciate being called cute because you were manly as heck, but you also didn’t mind being called cute because pretty girls were calling you cute._

_You ended up catching a ride back with the girls, who dropped you off at your house. Dirk cursed when he found dad’s car parked in the driveway, thanked the girls, and then told you to go spend time with Karkat. You both went up to the treehouse, wondering why Dirk was so worried about your dad finding out about taking you to the water park. The girls only left after being repeatedly assured by Dirk that he would be alright, driving away with worried looks on their faces._

_You both sat in the treehouse and peered down at your house, waiting for some sort of sign of a cataclysm. It didn’t come for a while, so you and Karkat were both telling each other how everything was probably fine when Dirk suddenly burst through the open door and slammed it shut. Your dad quickly followed him out._

_“… will not have you selling drugs in this household, Dirk!” he shouted. Well, he wasn’t shouting because Striders don’t shout (unless they’re drunk, apparently), but he was cutting it as close as possible._

_Dirk stopped at the edge of the street, and you watched in anticipation as your dad closed the gap between the two of them. Just as he was about to clasp a hand on your brother’s shoulder, Dirk flashstepped away from him and drew out his sword. You could only see your dad’s back, but you can’t imagine what his expression would have been. If he had had one at all, that is._

_It was dead silent for a long moment, but you knew that the onslaught was about to come on._

_Your father turned suddenly, so quick that you couldn’t track the movements. But Dirk had anticipated this, and his tall, thin frame allowed him for more agility. Your father had anticipated Dirk’s agility, as well, and suddenly they were cut in a stalemate as their swords clashed. Dirk’s katana had barely caught with your father’s when suddenly Dirk was on the move again, and your father was catching up._

_You had grown up learning that if you had a problem, you fought it out. The anger and aggression could only make you stronger, so you believed, but you had never really felt a need to be angry. Not a real reason, not yet. So you watched with rapt attention as you saw a different fight before you than the ones you were used to—this one was so charged with tension and built-up rage that you could practically feel the static in the air._

_The match went on rather evenly for a few minutes, as Dirk’s agility evened out with your dad’s brute strength. Eventually, however, your dad got the better of Dirk and knocked him onto the ground. Karkat gasped as he saw the tip of your father’s blade brush against Dirk’s Adam’s apple._

_Before either of them could say anything, a loud car started coming down your street. The stereo was thumping as it drove down, and it could have been ignored had it not stopped right in front of your trailer._

_The music stopped you from being able to hear what came next, but you did see Dirk grab the blade with his hand and pull it away from his throat, then stand up on his own. He sauntered past your dad, who only stared at the spot where his son had just been sitting a moment ago, defeated. Dirk hopped into the car and it sped off, leaving your angry father there to deal with the worried neighbors who had gone outside to witness the event._

_You slumped down into the treehouse and curled into a ball afterward. You could only feel Karkat’s head on your shoulder as you shut your eyes, and you stayed in the treehouse that whole night. Both of you._

 ---

You didn’t really speak with Karkat in the coming weeks, despite having a number of mutual friends. John and Jade, the twin siblings who were friends with almost everyone in the school, had both taken a particular liking to him, just as they had to you. They had both asked you why you didn’t really seem to like Karkat, as they could sense that there was some sort of history there and you were, according to them, always more tense around each other, but they dropped the issue when you said that you didn’t really want to get into it. You knew that they had also probably asked Karkat the same thing, leaving you wondering if he had told them, and if so, what he said.

“What happened between you and Karkat?” Rose asked you as you were walking home one day. The question came suddenly and from nowhere, as they usually did with Rose.

“Why do you ask that?” you answered stiffly. You knew that Rose could easily see through you but you could still play coy if you wanted to.

“You act differently around him. With anyone else you joke around and you try to make them feel comfortable around you, but whenever Karkat’s around you become a different person.”

You grimaced slightly, or at least as much as you would allow yourself to. “I don’t act differently around him. I just don’t know him like that.”

Rose was silent for a moment, before she said quietly, “I called Dirk and asked him. He told me that you two used to be close friends before middle school.”

You should have known better than trying to fool Rose, but you couldn’t believe that she had called Dirk behind your back.

You and your dad had moved into the Lalonde household at the end of middle school because your dad had lost his job and it was also closer to your new high school. Your dad hadn’t wanted to rely on his sister, a hard-working scientist with a drinking problem, to take them in when they didn’t have a home, but he couldn’t possibly afford any sort of mortgage on his own. He had only agreed to sell the trailer when it was certain that you had gotten the full scholarship that was needed to attend the private school he had been hoping to get you into. The summer before high school you had found yourself forced into an almost constant confrontation with your cousin, who was cheeky and smart enough to get a rise out of you. You started bugging each other like siblings would, and if your dad’s relationship with his sister was anything like your relationship with Rose, you could understand why living with her had been his last option.

What you had only recently figured out, however, was that Dirk had moved into the Lalonde household after he had had his fight with your dad. Rose’s mom had said as much when she shamed your dad for letting Dirk walk the streets at night alone. Your dad had then grumbled about him being able to make his own decisions, to which Ms. Lalonde had gone off into an angry tirade about how to raise children. Dirk had moved into an apartment of his own after getting a good job right out of high school, but there was much more to the story that you knew that you weren’t about to let your dad know. You had been tiptoeing around the issue between your dad and Dirk for years now, but if your father knew what you did, it would all come crashing down in a moment…

“Dave?” you heard Rose ask, snapping you out of your musings. She had a worried look on her face as you looked down at her. “Dave, are you okay? If it’s really that touchy, you don’t have to tell me…”

You realized that Rose could be sensitive when she wanted to be, and you appreciated that. You sighed, finally deciding to be honest with her.

“It’s fine. Honestly, I don’t really know what happened between us. The last thing I remember is that I showed him my eyes and his mom walked in, and she freaked out. He moved away pretty soon after, but he never even said goodbye. I don’t know, it’s in the past. I’d pretty much forgotten about it until I saw him again.”

That was a complete lie. You’d gone over that day in your mind almost every day in sixth grade, wondering where you went wrong. In seventh grade you only thought about him every few weeks, and in eighth grade you’d only think about him when something reminded him of you. Still, you never really forgot about him. Not really.

“Oh, Dave,” Rose said sadly. She knew what your eye color was, obviously, because she was family. She had gotten lucky and had soft lilac eyes, but you knew her mother had very intense pink ones. Strange eye colors and blonde hair ran in the family, you supposed. “I’m sorry.”

You shrugged. “Like I said, it’s whatever. More than anything it’s just awkward now.”

Rose nodded and left it at that, knowing that you had done your share of talking on the subject. John, however, was not done thinking up clever ways of getting you to talk to each other.

When John and Jade threw a Halloween party, you realized just how wealthy the people you were attending school with were. When Rose’s mom had dropped you off, you had felt incredibly out of place at the large white mansion and ornate lawn, but Rose had dragged you in anyways. You found the clown decorations to be unsettling, but ornate all the same. John wasn’t about to let you leave, however, when he spotted you standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Captain Kirk!” John exclaimed, buck teeth sticking out awkwardly from his white smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle, because you could already tell that he was doing an absolutely terrible job at being Spock.

You gave him a Vulcan salute in greeting, to which he frowned at you.

“Dave, Kirk doesn’t salute to Spock! It’s the other way around. And he doesn’t wear sunglasses either!”

“I’m sure he wore sunglasses in _some_ episode. The show’s like forty years old dude,” you replied, not that you’d ever actually seen anything other than the movies yourself. “Besides, if anyone’s worrying about inconsistencies, it should be you.”

He frowned worriedly, gripping at his ears. “What? But I made the ears perfectly! I even had Jade cover my eyebrows with make-up and draw them on differently.”

You chuckled again, and John suddenly gave his attention to Rose’s obscure witch costume. (She had insisted that it was “grimdark” but you knew absolutely no one would know what she was supposed to be and you liked calling her a witch just to piss her off.) Your eyes drifted over to where Jade, the hostess of the party, was dressed as a werewolf and talking to a vampire.

You blinked once your eyes settled on the other girl she was talking to, certain that you knew her from somewhere. She looked so familiar, and yet you couldn’t place where you knew her from. Then your eyes fell on the other person that she was talking to, and you immediately remembered her as Kanaya. And suddenly, you had far too many questions.

Jade glanced over to where you, John and Rose were, and then waved you all over. You were going to pretend that you hadn’t seen her, but John started walking over to them with Rose in toe, and you had no choice but to follow them. You braced yourself for the awkwardness that was about to ensue.

“What the hell,” was the first thing out of Karkat’s mouth once you were close enough. The way he said it let you know it wasn’t a question, but more of a statement of surprise. You could have asked the same thing, as he was wearing the same blue shirt that John was. You looked over at your Spock also, noting the way he smiled mischievously.

“Oh, did I not tell you?” he asked, addressing Karkat. “I asked Dave to be Captain Kirk and you to be Bones, so that we could all dress up as Star Trek characters for Halloween! I thought it would be great.”

Karkat looked incredibly angry and was about to go on a rampage, but before he could say anything, Kanaya piped in, “Dave? Dave Strider?”

“Hi Kanaya,” you said, flashing her a smile. You had always liked her, even if you’d never really talked. “How are you? It’s been a while.”

“I’m fine, thank you. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at a party more like Gamzee’s for Halloween.”

“I know these two dorks,” You shrugged, gesturing to both John and Jade. “What about you?”

“Ah, well, Karkat invited me,” she answered, glancing at him. She had said it delicately, which let you know that she knew all about your situation. Still, no matter how politely her words came out, it hurt to know that Karkat had kept in touch with her and not you. It hurt more than you could have imagined.

“Is that so?” you asked, knowing how icy your voice must have sounded. You looked directly at Karkat, who squirmed uncomfortably under your gaze and opened his mouth once or twice, again, before Kanaya stepped in again.

“Yes. John here was kind enough to let me bring Tavros and his girlfriend Vriska along too. They’re over by the punch bowl.” You all turned and looked, and Tavros was there dressed as someone you didn’t know while his girlfriend, some scene girl that you had never met, was dressed as a pirate. They looked like they were fighting. That’s when Kanaya turned to Rose. “I like your costume. Are you, by chance, supposed to be grimdark?”

Rose’s eyes flashed in happiness—although, to be fair, you couldn’t be certain about anything because she had gone all out for the costume and put in white contacts so that her eyes looked clear—and she smiled widely. “Why, yes, yes I am! How did you know?”

You rolled your eyes and let your cousin hit it off with Kanaya. You told Jade that she looked cute in her dog costume and then turned to go talk to Tavros. You were pointedly looking away from Karkat and a chat with your old friend was a welcome distraction. Before you knew it, however, John was at your side.

“Play it cool,” John whispered to you, “but I think the pirate chick is hot and she looks like she’s fighting with her boyfriend. Be my wingman.”

You snorted at the very idea of John telling you to be cool, but you decided to let him have his moment. You walked up to them, Vriska regarding you with a scowl while Tavros looked surprised.

“Dave? No way, what are you doing here?”

“What’s up, Tav? I should be asking you that question. You know I go to school with these guys.”

“Oh,” he answered sheepishly. “Uh, well Kanaya wanted to bring Vriska along to the party that Karkat, uh, invited her to, and so I came along with them. But we’re, uh, supposed to be going over to Gamzee’s soon. Oh. Did you—uh, did you want to come?”

“Nah,” you answered with a shrug. You had received invitations from many different people to Gamzee’s and knew that it was going to be the crazy there, but you had decided to go to John’s and meet some more of your classmates. But with the way things were going, you were suddenly itching to go to Gamzee’s. At least there you would feel at home and be with people that you had known from middle school. “Well, actually, maybe. Hit me up when you guys are leaving, and maybe I’ll head out with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Tavros’ girlfriend said in an annoyed tone, “but who are you again?”

“I’m Dave,” you answered, amused. You put your arm around John. “And this is my bro, John. You know, the guy whose house you’re currently at.”

“Oh, you live here? Great, then Tavros can tell you all about how he just spilled punch on your floor.”

“I cleaned it up with napkins!” Tavros hissed.

John laughed, “It’s okay! We thought that sort of thing was going to happen so we got rid of all the rugs. I just hope your costume didn’t get ruined. I like it, by the way. You’re a pirate, right?”

“Yes!” Vriska answered with a bright smile. She posed to show off the costume, but she really only jutted out her cleavage. “I made it myself! Don’t I look so badass?”

“Yeah, totally! You look like the captain of a fearsome ship,” John answered, and she giggled. He was really working his charm. He turned to Tavros. “And, what are you supposed to be?”

“I’m Rufio!” he answered proudly, and puffed his chest out. “Can’t you tell?”

“Ugh,” Vriska said suddenly, scowling. “I told you to be a bullfighter. But no, you just had to dress up as someone from a movie that no one’s ever seen before, didn’t you?”

“Oh yeah? Well at least I’m not a spider pirate. Like, why do you even have cob webs? That doesn’t even make sense.”

She started yelling at him angrily, and you seriously hoped that John was no longer interested in this girl after he’d spoken to her. It was suddenly all too much—the big house, the people you thought you’d never see again, the music—you had to step outside. You told John as much and let him fend for himself against the crazy pirate girl while you walked out to his backyard.

You found a number of people outside, as well, as his backyard was pretty huge. He had a pool that was complete with a built-in Jacuzzi, but no one was in it. Not that it was particularly cold, being that South Florida doesn’t really get cold until after the hurricane season, but you were still glad that your costume required a long-sleeve shirt.

You walked past the pool and out to the patch of grass that stood between it and the lake that his house overlooked. You found a secluded spot behind a tree where there was a wooden bench, glad to be away from the commotion of the party for a minute. You took a deep breath as you sat down, wishing you had something to smoke or drink just so that you wouldn’t have to think.

But, of course, you couldn’t help but think about how Kanaya and Karkat were still close enough for him to invite her to a party. You had always thought that once Karkat had moved that had been it and he hadn’t spoken to any of his other friends, but you now realized how wrong you had been. None of them had spoken about his sudden disappearance and it was then that you realized that he had never actually disappeared from their lives at all. Only yours.

The thought made you burn. That was the only way to describe what you were feeling at that moment—you burned with anger, with jealousy, with betrayal. You were hurt because you’d held out on the hope that he was missing you as much as you were missing him, but clearly that was not the case.

The sound of approaching footsteps caused you to suddenly tense up. You listened closely and found that you could only hear one pair of feet, so it definitely wasn’t a couple looking for a spot to make out but rather someone like you that was looking for a secluded spot away from the party. You sat there, waiting for the person to make the discovery that you were there, and then leave.

“Oh,” you heard and out of the corner of your eye you saw him stop. You turned to look at him, already knowing who it was by the sound of his voice.

“Please tell me you didn’t come out here just to find me,” you’d snapped. It came out meaner than you’d intended, but with a slightly desperate edge to it, as well, as if you’d wanted him to do just that. You hated it.

He let out a deep breath and crossed his arms, then. “No, I didn’t. I came out here to get some fresh air. It’s too crowded in there.”

You looked back at the lake, unable to look at him or keep the bitterness out of your voice as you asked, “What about Kanaya?”

You heard another deep breath leave him. “Dave, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“You didn’t what?” you asked, turning to him. You were angry now and you didn’t care about holding yourself back. “Have time for me? Because you’ve made that very clear, thanks. You can go back to ignoring me like you have for the past three years while I was…”

You trailed off, unsure as to what you were going to say next. While you were worried about him? While you were hoping that, somehow, he would come back to you? You didn’t have time to think about what you would have said, however, because suddenly he was taking the last few steps toward you. His arms clamped down on the armrest of the bench and he leaned forward so that your faces were only inches apart.

“Ugh, would you let me talk? You haven’t let me talk to you since I’ve seen you. And I just… I’m sorry, okay? My mom kept me away from you before I moved, and she made sure I couldn’t talk to you, Dave. I tried figuring out a way to talk to you but I couldn’t without her finding out and suddenly we were moving. Kanaya found out what my chumhandle was and started talking to me again in, like, what? Seventh grade? And we started catching up again but she didn’t know what your chumhandle was, but by then it just would have been weird to talk to you anyways, Dave. Because I left you, and I still feel absolutely fucking terrible about it, but you’ve got to understand that I didn’t have a choice, so. I’m sorry.”

He let out a final huff and then looked away from you, suddenly, as though he was embarrassed. You were silent and unsure how to respond. He shifted his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably before plopping down on the bench next to you with a sigh.

“I came out here for fresh air,” Karkat murmured then, breaking the silence, “but apparently I came out here to yell.”

You pursed your lips before hesitantly responding, “Yeah, I had to step away too. There’s too many people.”

Karkat looked at you, surprised that you had said anything but not letting the conversation drop. “Yeah, I know. And the music’s too loud. Giving me a headache. Not to mention that Kanaya’s been flirting with Rose ever since you left.”

You looked at him with eyebrows raised. “No shit?”

“No shit,” Karkat nodded. “Your cousin’s a lesbian, dude.”

“Maybe this’ll get her to stop bugging me, then.”

The conversation lulled for another moment, charged with an awkward energy about the topic of conversation you were both dancing around. You weren’t sure whether you were still mad at him or no, but you found that it was all too easy to forgive him. You were about to say as much when he suddenly groaned and dropped his face into his hands.

“I should have tried harder to talk to you,” he growled, then peered up at you from between his fingers. You had a sudden resolve to make sure he never made that face toward you again.

“It’s… It’s fine,” you found yourself whispering. “I just… I never expected to see you again.”

“Me either,” he murmured, slightly more hopeful than he’d been before.

You paused before broaching the subject. “And I definitely never thought I’d see you again in a preppy private school.”

He rolled his eyes and sat back up at that. “I know, right? What the fuck are the odds? Just… how are you able to pay for it, dude?”

If any other person at that party had asked, you would have beat the crap out of them. But this was Karkat, and he had known your financial situation better than anyone else. You sighed and leaned back.

“Dirk wanted me to go here. I hadn’t really thought about high school until he sat me down and talked to me about it. He told me that he really wanted me to go here, and that he’d pay for half of my tuition if I got my grades high enough and got a good enough score to get the SBURB scholarship.” You shrugged and leaned back now. “To be honest I was going for the full scholarship so that Dirk wouldn’t have to pay for anything, but I’m not that smart.”

You saw Karkat’s head nod from the corner of your eye as he asked gingerly, “And… you mentioned something about living with Rose…?”

“Oh, yeah. My dad lost one of his jobs and he finally agreed to live with the Lalondes once we found out I got the scholarship.” You paused before adding, “He doesn’t know that Dirk is paying for half of it. He thinks I have a full scholarship.”

Karkat pursed his lips. “And how… how is Dirk paying for it?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered back honestly. “He just tells me that he’s got a good job.”

You couldn’t be sure, but if he still knew you half as well as he used to then he was able to hear the worry in your voice. Suddenly, you snapped your head toward him. “Your turn. How the hell are you paying for this?”

He shifted uncomfortably and grimaced, looking away from you. “Oh god. You’re going to laugh at me.”

“I probably will,” you deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the cross that hung on a silver chain around his neck. “We moved to another shitty trailer home after my mom got divorced from Jack—oh, he’s in jail again, just so you know—and then she met this guy that always volunteered at our church. His name is Kankri. He’s not a priest or anything but I think he gets off on helping people who are poorer than he is. He’s so _preachy_. He goes on for hours trying to defend all these broad groups of people while actually belittling them in the most subtle, condescending way possible. I can’t even eat dinner with him because I know it’ll last forever and I’ll seriously contemplate shoving my fork down his throat the entire time. My mom got married to the rich prick in record time and we moved to this very neighborhood. Of course he insisted that I go to the best private school in South Florida, but whatever. I’m using all the money I can from him before my mom dumps his lame sweater-wearing ass.”

You refrained from mentioning that he wore lame sweaters all the time in favor of sitting quietly and listening to the long, angry rants that you didn’t even know you’d missed. You let a small smile crack on your lips. “Karkat, your whole rags-to-riches story is so poetic. I’m sure it would touch the hearts of little girls everywhere.”

Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes again. “See, I knew you would laugh.”

“Oh, I’m not laughing,” you said with the straightest face you could muster. “I just think you should have dressed up as someone else for Halloween.”

He eyed you from the side, curious and confused. “What?”

“I think you would have made a great Cinderella, Karkat.”

He shoved you then, and you couldn’t help but laugh at your own amazing joke. When you looked over you could see him fighting a smile himself.

“Shut _up_ Dave oh my god.”

“No, really, you would have been the prettiest princess here. Feferi would have stormed off in jealousy. Real wasted potential, I think.”

He was laughing, and soon you found yourself laughing too. You think that it had less to do with the stupid joke you’d made and a lot more with the fact that you two were actually _able_ to joke again. The very thought made you giddy, and you felt so light with relief that you could barely breathe.

“Oh, there you are,” you heard someone say, just as your laughter had turned into chuckling. You both turned your heads toward Jade, who had suddenly showed up behind the tree and was glancing between the two of you.

When nobody said anything Jade suddenly seemed to remember why she had showed up in the first place. “Oh, right! Uh, Dave, some guy named Tavros is looking for you. He said something about you going to another party with him, but he stared hitting on me though so I told him I’d go look for you.”

You chuckled a little at the thought of Tavros trying to flirt with anyone, especially Jade. The kid had balls, you’d give him that. You stood up, then, but thought about whether or not you really wanted to go to Gamzee’s party. It would probably be significantly less lame than this one and have actual alcohol, but you found that you actually didn’t really care to go. Especially not when you glanced down to see Karkat looking up at you expectantly.

“Mm, nah, I don’t think I’m going,” you said, shrugging. Both Karkat and Jade smiled a little, but Jade also put her hands up.

“Hey, I’m not going back there. Tell him yourself.” She folded her arms across her chest which said that her word was final, but then she looked at you two again with a sneaky glint in her eyes. “Unless… you two would like to stay here?”

Karkat stood up abruptly at that. “No, I mean, uh, we were just heading back to the party anyways.”

You nodded in agreement as Jade giggled, then rolled her eyes. “Whatever you guys say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jade and John know what's up. They totally ship it.  
> I know this is like, a week after Halloween but I'm sure you're all still in the spirit. But this is about the amount of time I'll be spending in between chapters, so don't expect me to update TOO often, but hopefully not too little! Hopefully I'll be able to work on this some more soon, but I'm getting a little busy what with exams and finals and Thanksgiving coming up. (It's my birthday soon!)  
> Thanks again to concaveadversary for being my beta reader!! This chapter was really, really long compared to the first one so I'm sure that reading for typos wasn't a very easy task!  
> In the next chapter or so there's going to be some veeeery interesting relationship development, seeing as how I'm planning on introducing the last important character (hint hint she's cute and smart and blind but she knows what's up). Not sure whether it'll be this next chapter or the one after that, but these two boys *will* be smooching. idk guys stay tuned ouo


	3. Chapter 3

_Dirk suddenly spent far less time at home, leaving you wondering what exactly he could have done to warrant such a drastic change. You knew that Dirk and your dad had never gotten along all that well, not really, but now he would only appear in the house when your dad was gone. He was like a ghost, suddenly appearing behind you while you were making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, reaching for your opened apple juice box, or plopping down on the couch next to you while you were playing video games to comment on your poor button-smashing technique. Whenever he was home, it was almost as if he had his full attention on you to make up for the lost time. You often strifed, then ended up talking about recent events (namely the shenanigans you and Karkat had gotten up to the day prior), and then the moment you got distracted he would be gone as suddenly as he had showed up with nothing more than a faint, “See ya, bro.” Sometimes you wondered if you imagined it._

_This sudden absence of your brother coupled with your dad’s busy work schedule led to spending even more time with Karkat that summer. You spent almost all your time with him at the park, in his treehouse, or in his room. His mom and step-dad didn’t seem to mind your ever-constant presence in their home, commenting about how the two of you were practically brothers. You refrained from telling them that you already had a brother and that Karkat was not him; he was something else to you entirely, but you couldn’t pinpoint what._

_The thing you liked about Karkat, too, was that he never commented on the stuff you didn’t want to talk about. He didn’t mention your brother’s disappearance, or the way your dad got when he was drinking. It was as if he understood that you didn’t want to think about the place you called home._

_“I wish this treehouse was my house,” you’d said to him on a particularly hot day. It was too hot for you to even pretend to be knights that day, and you were lying with your backs on the wooden planks in the shade._

_“Me too,” Karkat replied immediately from where he was sitting. He then started to make some animal noises because of the way his small, handheld battery-powered fan made his voice sound when he spoke into it._

_“Maybe we can?” you continued. “I mean I’d even kill the spiders. We could live off of the doritos and aj we keep up here, I think.”_

_Karkat had snorted. “I don’t think I would want to live off of only doritos. Maybe I would get my mom to make us some sandwiches every day.”_

_“No,” you said, sitting up. “No way. We would have to get the food ourselves. That’s the whole point!”_

_“So, what? We’d catch squirrels and stuff?”_

_“Yes,” you said as you nodded, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world._

_“How would we cook it?”_

_“With a campfire, of course. Like we do when we’re knights.”_

_“But we don’t play with real fire,” Karkat said with a pout so that his teeth hung over his bottom lip. “How about we use my dad’s grill?”_

_You thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, that’s okay. As long as we use it without his permission.”_

_“Why without his permission?”_

_“Because we have to support ourselves, duh! I already said that was the whole point. We have to live in a home that we make ourselves.”_

_“Oh,” Karkat said, nodding. Suddenly, the whirring of the fan stopped and you both let out a surprised cry. “The fan ran out of battery!”_

_You pursed your lips in thought for a moment before you asked, “Why don’t we ask your mom about those sandwiches you mentioned earlier?”_

_“What happened to building our own home in the treehouse?”_

_“I didn’t mean that we should do that right now,” you huffed. Karkat only laughed in response and raced you to his house._

_The rest of the summer went on like this; lazy days that were filled with exciting adventures and popsicles, interrupted only by peaceful sleep at night. Your days were numbered, however, and eventually you found yourselves in school on the first day of first grade._

_You and Karkat had the same class, which was good because that meant that you didn’t have to be separated. When your teacher told you to take off your sunglasses, Karkat had to muffle his giggles as you whipped out a doctor’s note for your “eye-condition.”_

_Simply because you were inseparable, however, didn’t mean that you didn’t speak to other people. Karkat made friends with a strange boy who drank way too much soda named Gamzee, a stuttering boy in a wheelchair with a mohawk named Tavros, and a lovely Indian girl with impeccable taste in fashion named Kanaya. Each of them had their own special bond with Karkat, and while they all conversed with you regularly enough, you could tell that they all liked Karkat better. That was fine with you, though, because so did you._

_No matter what, you would always go home on the bus together and would walk home together. Some of the fifth graders would tease you for it, but after they tried following you both home one day, you decided to show them what you’d learned from strifing with your brother. You came home with a few scrapes and bruises, which both your dad and Dirk scolded you for, but they never messed with you again. For the rest of elementary school, then, it was just established that you and Karkat were inseparable._

_And you were inseparable. Sometimes you fought, but it was really only ever because you cared about each other. You would always end up with each other again, and you took some sort of comfort in knowing that he needed you as much as you needed him._

_But by around third grade, his mother had started to fight with his step-dad more often than she ever had before. The catalyst was him going to jail, making for an almost overnight shift from happy marriage to angry cries for divorce over a kitchen table. Suddenly Karkat was the one who would cling to you as he heard shouts from his trailer, holding on to your arm as you rapped to him. You tried to make your words as sweet and comforting as possible, and you sometimes found him falling asleep on your shoulder._

_Two more years went by like this, until you were both eleven and fully-convinced that the treehouse was your real home. Middle school was on the horizon, as was the finalization of Karkat’s parents’ divorce. You had overheard that his mother was planning on moving once the divorce was finalized, but neither of you wanted to talk about it._

_Instead, Karkat brought something else up that you didn’t want to talk about._

_“Dave,” he started while you sat together in his room in the summer between fifth and sixth grade, “I was wondering.”_

_His questioning was more timid than usual, so you acknowledged it with a grunt from where you sat on his floor playing a video game._

_“It’s just… I was thinking about it and, well… I was wondering what your eyes look like.”_

_You immediately froze where you were, causing your character to fall off a cliff and die. Thankfully, the extra fruit you had gathered ensured that your life was not wasted and you started again at a checkpoint. You decided to be casual about it and shrug. “I don’t know, man. They’re just eyes.”_

_“So,” Karkat responded, more confident because of your casualness, “you can show me?”_

_You pouted, trying to figure out a way out of this. “Um, well I mean, I don’t know if you can handle the true beauty of the Strider eyes.”_

_“_ Dave _,” Karkat groaned, shoving you. “I’m serious. You’ve been wearing those sunglasses for as long as I’ve known you. For all I know, they’re glued to your face!”_

_“I’m serious too,” you murmured, deciding to drop the act. “My eyes are ugly, Karkat. They’re scary.”_

_He fell silent when you called him by his name and not some silly nickname. You glanced over at him to see that he had dropped his eyes in shame, as if he was silently scolding himself for even asking. You sighed and pressed pause, turning to him then._

_In all honesty, you don’t know why you’d never shown him your eyes. You were embarrassed by their bright red hue, no doubt, but aside from the initial scare they would give anyone, you don’t know why you had to keep your shades on at all times. You didn’t even know the color of Dirk’s eyes or your dad’s, but you just assumed that this intense color ran in your family._

_So you turned to the person that you cared about most in the world and tried to will your voice not to shake as you whispered, “You can take them off, if you want to.”_

_Karkat didn’t do so immediately. He eyed you, wondering if you were actually being serious for once, before he took a deep breath and started reaching for your sunglasses. Your eyes flitted closed on instinct, and the feeling of his hands brushing against your cheeks as he slowly unhooked the glasses from your ears caused you to blush a little. Air hit your face in a way that it only did when you were taking your shades off for the night, so you willed your eyes to blink open._

_You looked up at Karkat, wondering what he must think of them. You took the moment to look at him like you hadn’t before, allowing yourself to examine his features. His eyes were a lighter gray than you had always thought it was, and his lips filled out nicely around his teeth. There was a slight blush that colored his tan cheeks. Your eyes selfishly raked over him in a way that they simply couldn’t from behind sunglasses._

_“Dave,” Karkat whispered, “your eyes are beautiful.”_

_You were suddenly reminded of who was supposed to be examining who, and you flushed at his choice of words. You didn’t get a chance to react, however, because at that very moment his mother walked through the door._

_Whatever she was going to say got stuck in her throat as she made direct eye-contact with you. You grabbed your shades from Karkat’s hands and put them on in record time, but it didn’t matter: the damage was done. You had seen her eyes—the same light grey ones that Karkat had—widen in fear._

_For a tense moment there was dead silence, and then his mother started muttering frantically in Spanish. While you didn’t speak Spanish you were able to pick out a few words:_ demonio, cristo _. It wasn’t difficult to gather that she thought you were a monster when she clutched the tiny, silver cross that had always been hanging on a chain around her neck._

_You immediately jumped up and made a beeline for the door as Karkat cried for you to wait. He started yelling back at his mother in Spanish, more loudly than you’d ever heard before. His mother jumped out of your way and gripped onto Karkat as if she was protecting him from a ravenous wolf. You didn’t look back at them as Karkat desperately cried, “Dave, wait!”_

_That night you listened to the red solo cup that had been sitting in your bathroom untouched for years, able to hear random vibrations. Sometimes you thought you could make out a few words or phrases like “never see him again,” or “red eyes.” Eventually you put down the makeshift telephone and buried your face in your hands, certain that you had been making it up in your head._

_The only problem was that you didn’t see Karkat again. You would stare out at his house for hours, but it was as if nobody lived there. The trailer was still, nobody moving in or out when you were looking, not even when you saw a moving truck. It was only when you saw the new family—a man and a woman that had just gotten married and were expecting a child, bright-eyed and beaming—that you finally came to realize that Karkat was gone._

_You sat in the treehouse on your last day of summer break, waiting for the feeling of warmth and comfort to find you like it always had in the past. You sat there for hours, waiting, refusing to acknowledge that the treehouse was not your actual home. You finally stared at the spot where he would be sitting, tears springing up in your eyes. You pressed your palms against them as tears flowed out, trying to will them to be any other color so that maybe, maybe he would have stayed._

_As you sat in the empty treehouse, you finally realized that the only home you had ever known had been ripped away from you. He was gone._

\---

The rest of freshman year passed peacefully and in a bit of a blur. You found yourself losing contact with the few friends you had had in middle school in exchange for spending a large amount of time with the new friends you’d made. It had started out with you, John, Jade, and Rose, but you soon found yourself talking to a number of people who all had strange quirks that amused you to no end.

The most important part of I all, however, was that you now had Karkat back. You were no longer inseparable as you had been in elementary school and you never hung out alone, with just the other boy as company, but whenever you two were in a large group you always ended up gravitating toward each other. You found yourself smiling the most when joking with him, but you felt that there was something you were both holding back. Both of you were bold people, but far too timid with each other. You tried not to dwell on your frustration too much.

That summer passed quickly and slowly at the same time, as you spent most of your time lazing around in your pajamas and watching marathons of entire TV shows. Whenever you were bored you went to go bother Rose, but half the time she was out and about with Kanaya. You wondered if they were really a thing, like Karkat had said, but you knew Rose would never admit to it. You went out with your friends only a few times, but you didn’t ever lose touch with them because you were almost always online. Sometimes Karkat was amongst your group outings, but sometimes he wasn’t. You found that you always had a better time when he was there, and you would always smile whenever he messaged you first.

When you finally returned to school in August, you found that you had two classes with Karkat. He introduced you to a blind girl that he seemed to be close friends with and who wore the boys’ uniform instead of the girls’.

“Dave? I’m Terezi,” she said when you introduced yourself, flashing you a wide grin. Then she suddenly sniffed the air. “You smell like… cherries! Just like Karkles!”

You cocked an eyebrow at her as she giggled. “Cherries? Why do you say that?”

“Those shades of yours can’t hide your pretty eyes from me, Dave,” she said as she leaned forward, staring right into your eyes from behind a pair of her own strange red glasses. She then proceeded to cackle and lean back on her cane.

That was how you met Terezi. You were a little shaken up but she was quick on her feet and able to keep up with you. You liked her immediately.

She was in three of your classes, two of them being the ones you shared with Karkat. She had a way of making him blush and you couldn’t help but join in on teasing him. She didn’t respect personal boundaries and often licked your face or stood way too close, but you knew it wasn’t because she was blind. You both passed pictures to each other in classes because you found that you both had an ironic love for shitty art while you sat alone in your art class with her, and her sense of humor never failed to make you laugh.

She quickly became your best friend. And, about halfway through the year, you started dating her.

Nothing about your relationship really changed, actually. It took you a few weeks of dating for you to actually kiss each other, and even after your first kiss there was no sudden revelation of romantic feelings. You liked Terezi and the way she kissed you like she was joking. You would make out during movies, slowly and lazily like you were just finding another way to pass the time with her. And, in a way, you knew you both felt that that was what your relationship was; a way to know what to do for when you actually fell in love with someone.

Once you announced that you were dating to your group of friends, however, you found that your relationship with Karkat was almost nonexistent once again. At first you thought it was because he was giving you and Terezi your space, but when he didn’t answer your pesterchums you knew this was not the case. His distance again after you thought you had already made up frustrated you to no end.

“I think it’s because he used to like me,” Terezi told you from where she was hanging on the monkey bars. It was a few days into spring break and you had gone for a walk with her around her neighborhood, which happened to be the same one as John’s and Karkat’s. You weren’t surprised because Terezi had mentioned her mother was a lawyer, and it seemed that half of your high school’s population lived here.

“Why do you say that? Did he tell you he liked you?”

She shrugged. “No, he never said it. Just my intuition, I guess.”

You never doubted Terezi’s intuition because it was always scarily accurate, but for some reason the idea of Karkat having a crush on her irked you even more than him avoiding you. You refused to believe that he had been blushing over your girlfriend, even if you knew that she was probably right.

“Well that’s not my fault,” you had answered, annoyed. “I didn’t know that. But… I don’t think that’s it. I know he watches all those cheesy romance movies but he would never stop talking to me just because I’m dating the girl he likes.”

“ _Liked_ ,” she said, emphasizing the past tense. “And you’re right, it really isn’t like him. Did you say anything to piss him off that you don’t remember?”

“Ugh, no,” you groaned from where you sat on the swing. You pressed your palms up against your eyes and rubbed them. You had already gone over everything you’d said to him in the past few weeks and couldn’t remember a single moment where you had said anything that could even be misconstrued as even slightly offensive. “I’ve thought over everything and I haven’t said anything to piss him off, really.”

“Hmm…” Terezi pondered for a moment with pursed lips. Her eyes suddenly popped open as she grinned, and she pulled herself up on the monkey bars so that she lied down along the top and peered at you from in between the bars. “I got it! What if he’s not jealous that you’re going out with me, but that I’m going out with you?”

“Huh?” you deadpanned, thoroughly confused.

She clicked her tongue. “I mean, what if he’s jealous that I’m monopolizing all of your time? We both know Karkat is the type to selflessly back off when he thinks he’s defeated.”

“Yeah, but why would he think that?”

Terezi paused in her analysis to stare at you with her light, unseeing eyes. “Because you two used to be inseparable, but now you’re just friends, right? You told me as much.”

You shrugged and nodded.

“Dave, I think he just wants to be closer to you but he doesn’t know how to tell you.”

You were silent at that, not entirely sure what to say. In more than one way you wanted it to be the true reason why he was avoiding you, but this meant facing a past that you didn’t really want to relive.

Terezi hopped off the side of the monkey bar with the grace of a ballerina and tapped her cane over to where you sat. She put her hands on your knees and leaned in closely, a small smile on her face. If you didn’t know better you would say that the smile was almost sad.

“Talk to him, Dave,” she whispered softly, then rolled her eyes. “You’re both so good at avoiding your feelings that you two are more blind than I am.”

“But how can I when he’s been avoiding me so much?”

“Maybe you’ve been avoiding him as much as he’s avoiding you,” she answered just as quickly.

“What? Why would I…”

You trailed off because her wide grin told you that she knew something you didn’t. You sighed and groaned a little, but knew that she was right. “Fine, I’ll talk to him. I’ll back him into a corner and force him to spill his heart out. Happy?”

Her smile faltered for a moment, replaced with a much smaller one that was, once again, inexplicably tinged with sadness. “What makes you and Karkat happy makes me happy, Dave.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together and blushed slightly at her choice of words. “What?

She grinned more widely, shaking her head. “Nothing. Just c’mere cherry eyes.”

She gave you one last kiss, simultaneously slow and brief. You didn’t know that it would be your last one with her. She did.

As you dropped her off at her house, you were suddenly overcome with a strong urge to bike over to Karkat’s house. You knew it was right down the street from John’s, and you figured that it would be easy enough to remember how to get there. You figured that you might as well resolve it now.

You had intended on doing nothing more than riding around John’s street a few times, ultimately chickening out and then riding home. But when you spotted the grey house you _knew_ who it belonged to and you skidded to a stop. That was when you spotted the man in the obnoxiously bright red sweater and sunhat who was gardening despite the fact that it was the middle of March in South Florida.

The man looked up at you once your bike screeched, and you knew that you would have to face this.

“Hello,” you said formally, nervously, and your voice cracked a little. You cleared your throat. “Is this the, uh, Vantas residence?”

“Oh, yes,” the man answered, and as he stood up to come closer to you, you were surprised by how similar he looked to Karkat. If you didn’t know better you would assume that he was his actual father. “Are you here for Karkat?”

You nodded, trying not to think about how ridiculous he _should_ look in his blinding red sweater, sunhat and gloves, but instead wondering if Karkat’s features would be as defined as his in a few years.

“He just went inside. I can go get him for you. Or you could come inside, if you like.”

Suddenly, your mouth goes dry and you don’t know what to say. You wonder if Karkat’s told his mother that you’re back in his life again, and if not, what she would say if she saw the boy with the red eyes in her house again. Somehow, you know that it would not end well.

You’re beginning to think of a polite way to decline and get out of this when the front door opens and Karkat walks out with two iced teas in his hands. He’s wearing a long-sleeve shirt but the sleeves are rolled up like his step-father’s, and you almost chuckle because he’s just as ridiculous. He looks like he’s grumbling to himself as he nudges the door open with his shoulder.

“Here’s your iced tea. Mom says to hurry up and finish with the impatiens before…” he trailed off as he spotted you, stopping in his tracks.

You suddenly regret coming here at all. You don’t know why you’d let Terezi talk you into this, but you suddenly feel like you’ve infringed on some sort of territory here that you shouldn’t have.

“Oh, thank you Karkat,” his step-father said first, motioning for the iced tea. Karkat continued his walk over to him. “Your friend came to visit. Isn’t that nice?”

“Yeah,” Karkat answered, eyes still a little wide from the surprise.

“I was in the neighborhood,” you said suddenly, feeling the need to explain yourself, “I was with Terezi.”

“Oh,” he says while lowering his eyes. Maybe there was some truth to Terezi’s guess after all.

“Well, Karkat was just helping me with the garden. Would you like to come inside for some iced tea? It’s awfully hot.”

“No,” you and Karkat say at almost the same time, to his surprise. This confirms your suspicions that Karkat hadn’t told his mom about you.

“I mean, no thank you. Uh, I was thinking we could go to the park,” you recovered quickly. “You know, the one around here.”

“Oh, well that’s alright with me. You two have fun now.”

“Thanks,” Karkat says gruffly, then walks over to the garage. He grabs his bike and then you both make a quick ride over to the park. He senses that you didn’t decide to make just any old trip, and once he parks his bike he looks at you expectantly. You, instead, make your way over to the swing where you had just been sitting before. Karkat rolls his eyes but sits down in the seat next to you.

“The seats here aren’t broken,” you comment. “Remember when you pushed me off the swing because it was the only one that worked?”

You glance over at him in time to see his face soften for a moment. “Of course I do.”

You both fell silent, and while it wasn’t uncomfortable it was heavy with some unspoken weight between you two. Karket waited patiently as you looked for the right words to say. And yet after all that time of thoughtful silence, the only thing you could come up with was, “Are you jealous that I’m dating Terezi?”

_“What?”_ Karkat’s nose scrunched up as he turned to sneer at you in surprise.

“I mean, shit. That didn’t come out right.”

“I would fucking hope so,” Karkat answered, and you could tell by the look in his eye that he was actually deeply offended.

“I mean, I haven’t seen you around as often, and it just feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“We’re talking about our feelings now? Dave I haven’t been avoiding you and I’m definitely not jealous. I’m just giving you your space, jeez.”

“But you don’t need to,” you protested. You knew that this was a bad idea. “Terezi and I aren’t really like that.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, still bearing his teeth. “Okay, great. I’ll keep that in mind next time you two flirt with each other in class.”

“So you are jealous?” you pried.

Karkat’s eyes snapped on you, all anger. “Yes. I’m just so incredibly jealous of your relationship with my friend, really. My gut wrenches with white-hot jealousy every time you two giggle with each other over shitty drawings in the middle of class, really. My poor heart just can’t handle it and I’ve been running away in hiding every time I see you together, Dave. I am madly in love with your girlfriend and that’s why I’ve been ducking out of the way and running whenever I see you two together. I’m actually crying into the crook of my elbow as I run away because I just can’t fucking handle it.”

“Dude, calm down,” you muttered, unsure of how to react. “I’m just trying to talk to you, no need to get so upset.”

He let out an exasperated breath and stood up. He marched over to his bike, and you stood up too. Suddenly, you felt this fresh pain at the thought that he was going to just walk out of your life again after you’d just become friends.

“That’s great, just run away again.”

You couldn’t control your tongue, but you don’t believe you really wanted to right then. He paused in his movements and you held your breath for a minute. He looked up at you, catching your eye from where he stood, and then hopped on his bike and rode away.

You stayed where you stood until the sun began to set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to finish, but I wasn't really feeling up to it until recently. I'm working on the fourth chapter now, so hopefully it'll be up soon. I usually work on it when I'm sitting in class and I'm bored!  
> This will also be the last chapter that features Dave's and Karkat's past; it's only moving forward from here.


	4. Chapter 4

You and Terezi broke up at the end of Spring Break.

It was a mutual thing. Whether it was because of the recent events with Karkat or not, you had suggested to her that the relationship had run its course and you were both probably better off as friends. She agreed, saying that it was fun while it’d lasted but she knew its end was coming. The fact that she was so calm about it probably should have worried you, as well as the fact that your transition from relationship to friendship was far too easy and natural, but you had more worrying things on your mind than to be preoccupied with your break-up.

Karkat was not speaking to you at all now, openly avoiding you and giving you the cold shoulder. Everyone was aware of the rift in your relationship, but whenever they asked you what had happened you felt the anger surge back again and you refused to answer. After a while people realized that they weren’t getting an answer out of you, and you realized you weren’t going to get any sort of conversation out of Karkat.

Which was fine with you, as far as you were concerned. You didn’t need someone who would run away every time things between you got rocky. If he couldn’t face up to the problem at hand, then that was his problem and not yours.

It was easy to avoid him until you were hanging out with the entire group one day at a party, and everyone decided to play “truth or dare.”

“What’s life without a little adventure? Dare,” you’d answered to John as you waggled your eyebrows.

“Hmm, let’s see…” John said, tapping his finger on his lower lip and looking around for something good to give you. He had just been dared to eat an entire Betty Crocker cake by Rose and was out looking for revenge now. “I dare you… to propose to Rose!”

“You got a ring pop?” you asked immediately after, and Terezi provided you with one. You’d then proceeded to kneel down in front of Rose and deliver the most hilarious proposal in all of history, full with swooning and finished off by a fake make-out session performed by you and your cousin that lasted way longer than anyone would have liked it to. Kanaya looked particularly perturbed, and John was deeply upset that his trickery had backfired so terribly.

“Truth or dare?” you asked Terezi, as she was sitting beside you.

“Truth!” she answered immediately.

“You’re no fun.”

“Hey, truth is an important part of justice.”

“Alright, fine. Who is the best kisser you’ve ever kissed?” you asked, certain the answer would be you.

Terezi laughed, deep and throaty, then pointed across the circle. “Karkat!”

You don’t think that you could have hidden your surprise, even with your years of Strider training. But no one was looking at you and everyone was just as surprised, staring at Karkat’s beet red face.

“What are you talking about?” he shouted, squirming from where he sat.

“You know what I’m talking about!” Terezi said as she continued to cackle. She was absolutely delighted with his reaction and she couldn’t even see it.

“We were like twelve!”

“It still counts! I gave you a big, sloppy wet one! Remember?”

“Ugh, yes, I remember.” He curled up into himself. “You had just eaten a fruit roll-up, too.”

“Cherry-flavored,” she answered with a grin.

Terezi quickly moved on after that, not giving anyone an opportunity to properly react. As the truths and dares moved around the circle, you found that everyone was glancing at you every now and again. You had regained your composure by then, keeping the passively stoic expression that you used in situations like these. The worst part about the situation was that everyone expected you to be upset about Terezi kissing Karkat, and, in a way, you were. But not in the way that everyone thought, much to your own dismay and confusion. Either way, you hoped that your expression read “I don’t care” instead of “I’m trying not to care.”

But one pair of eyes did bother you. Karkat kept glancing over at you, so quickly that you would barely catch it. You began to feel insulted that he might think you’d be upset over a stupid kiss he’d shared with Terezi in middle school. What, did he think you were still torn up over her? Did he think that you would be upset? Did he think he held something over you now? What he looked so worried about, you couldn’t possibly know. But what you did know was that every time he glanced over at you, you felt angrier.

The anger you felt in the pit of your stomach kept growing until, finally, it was Jade’s turn at truth-or-dare. You weren’t paying attention to who asked her to do it, but you tuned in at the words, “I dare you to kiss Karkat!”

You felt the wind knocked out of you at the words and it was as if you were suddenly watching the scene from someone else’s point of view. You watched as Karkat’s face turned bright red when Jade rolled her eyes and looked at him. You watched Jade smack her hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a short, chaste kiss. You saw how wide his eyes were for it all, how adamantly he protested afterwards. You watched how she had briefly run her fingers through his matted, unkempt hair. You watched him pat it back into place nervously while he yelled and she laughed. You thought they made a good couple. You thought that they would be good for each other, really. You watched it all take place with some sort of placid numbness you didn’t know you had, not making a single face that would give away the tightness in your stomach. You watched calmly until Karkat slid his light gray eyes over to you.

And then you were furious.

To the untrained eye, of course, you were calm as ever. The change in your breathing pattern was slight, even though to you the air in your lungs felt heavy. Your jaw was tight, clenched. You gripped the red solo cup filled with vodka and cranberry juice so tight that the plastic gave way and the contents almost spilled over. Nobody was looking at you but him, and now he was openly staring because his eyes were trained. He knew your movements better than anyone else, and he could tell you were angry.

You chugged the last of your drink and stood up from the circle, telling everyone that you were going to refill. Most people in the circle accepted the excuse because they were buzzed themselves, but Terezi, John, Jade and Rose all looked at you with concern. You walked over to the kitchen as if you were going to pour yourself a drink, but you just threw out your cup and walked out the backdoor without looking back.

The party was in John’s and Terezi’s neighborhood, so by now you knew your way around. You left the party altogether and walked to the park, headphones on your ears and drowning out any sound. When you reached the park you sat down on the swing where you had fought with Karkat just a few weeks before.

Your music was blasting and you were hoping it would calm you down, but the more you sat there, the more rage you felt. You couldn’t explain why seeing Jade and Karkat kiss had done that to you—everyone always teased them when they bickered and basically flirted. It was also just a stupid kiss, and it wasn’t like you liked Jade or anything. She was really sweet, but you had just gotten out of a relationship with Terezi and you really only saw her as John’s sister. You sat there and let your confusion brew into anger until you heard someone calling your name.

“Dave? Dave!”

You took off your headphones and turned your head slightly to look out of the corner of your eye. Karkat was standing at the gate to the park, panting slightly. You turned away from him.

“I thought you’d be here.”

You didn’t answer him. You didn’t owe him an explanation.

“What was that?” Karkat asked. “Why did you leave the party?”

You still didn’t answer him, jaw clenched.

“Why are you _angry_?” Karkat yelled, starting to sound angry himself.

“Why am I angry?” you finally bit back, not bothering to look at him. “I don’t know, maybe because you won’t fucking talk to me? Maybe because you just uprooted yourself out of my life when I needed you the most—”

“That’s not fair, Dave,” Karkat interrupted, but you continued. “You walked out on me when I asked you to stay.”

“—and you still treat me like you hardly know me. Like we’re just school friends but nothing more.”

“You treat me the same way!” he protested.

“Oh, do I? Is that why I tried to talk to you during spring break when you wouldn’t fucking talk to me?”

“Because you had to _ask_ , didn’t you?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you asked, snapping your head around to look at him.

“It would have been fine if you had just _left it alone_ ,” he complained, burying his face in his hands.

“You want me to leave you alone? Fine, I’ll fucking leave you alone.”

“No, I—” he started, but then made a sound of frustration as you turned your back to him from where you sat on the swing. You sat there, and waited for him to leave. You heard the sound of footsteps, but rather than receding they were approaching. You wondered what he could possibly be doing until you felt a shove on your back and then suddenly you were on your feet and turning around. The look in his eyes was all you needed to get you reeling with anger again, and your hand balled into a fist before you knew what was happening.

Your fist connected with his jaw in a swift punch, but he took that easily and used your momentum to grab you by the collar and pull you over the swing between you. You tripped over it clumsily but managed to stand upright, but he then kneed you in the gut before you could get your bearings straight. You hunched over in pain but used the position to tackle him, hearing his back hit the sand with a satisfying thud. Knowing he was winded from the fall, you took the moment to hover over him and get ready to punch him in the face again. But his reflexes were quick and he caught your fist with his own hand before managing to land a punch to the side of your eye so that your sunglasses were knocked right off your face. You blinked for a couple moments, seeing stars, and then turned your full attention to him again.

You glared down at him, but his expression had changed. He stared up at you, wide-eyed and seemingly vulnerable. You were both panting but neither one of you made a move. The hand that had just punched you was still lingering by your face, hovering in the air as if it couldn’t decide whether to punch you again or brush your hair from your face. Your fist was still balled in his hand right by the side of his head, and you could see his cheeks were a brighter red than they’d ever been. You allowed yourself to think, for a brief moment, that Karkat looked really beautiful like this.

Without warning, his eyes began to water. The hand that was hovering in the air finally rested on your cheek as the rest of his body seemed to become more pliant beneath you. He took a ragged breath, and in a broken voice he murmured, “Dave…”

You leaned down and pressed your lips to his.

At first you only felt the warm pressure of his thick lips on yours, reassuring you that he was there, steady, right beneath you. But then he took in a deep breath at the same time you did and you really kissed each other. His mouth was slick and needy, searching desperately for yours. You pushed back and took control, assuring him that you were there and rolling your tongue along his. You pulled back briefly only to place your lips in the same spot, pulling his bottom lip back so you could get proper access. Each time you tried to pull away you were only drawn back again, each kiss getting steadily deeper. He tasted like blood and sand.

You finally pulled away long enough to get your breath back and look down at him. He looked just as breathless as you, his eyes fluttering open at the absence of you. You were so much closer to him now than you had been before.

As you caught your breath, you both tried to take in what had just happened. Neither one of you made any motion to move, but neither one of you made any motion to speak either. You both just looked at each other, eyes darting back and forth, trying to figure out just what, exactly, had taken place here.

Karkat, however, finally broke the silence. He cleared his throat and looked away. “I told you not to ask.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your mind tried to process what he was saying. “Huh?”

He looked back at you, slightly annoyed. “About Terezi. Once you asked, I just… I got really confused, alright?”

“Confused?” you asked again, still brain-dead.

“Ugh, _yes_ , Dave, _confused_!” He shouted, grabbing you by your jacket again and then burrowing himself in your neck. “As in, I started questioning myself as to why I was avoiding you. And I started thinking about it. And you. I was thinking about you, alright? I realized that I liked you. I realized, oh god I’m totally gay for my old best friend. And that’s not something that I can just say to you. My rom-coms did not prepare me for what to do in a situation like this at all—”

“Karkat,” you interrupted, to which he shut his mouth and looked back up at you. You sighed, then pushed yourself up into a sitting position. You offered your hand to him and he did the same, looking at you expectantly. “Why didn’t you just… tell me? You know I would never have pushed you away…”

“I know,” he murmured. “But it’s not exactly the easiest thing to say…”

He trailed off and neither of you looked at the other. After a few moments of silence, you finally said, “Look. I’m going to… need some time to take this all in, alright? I never really… realized any of this until, like, two minutes ago.”

You saw him look over at you and the way his eyes shone was enough to make your heart stutter all over again. He then caught himself, nodded and looked away, trying to mask his thoughts. You were tempted to lean over and kiss him senseless. Instead, you plopped down on the sand so you were lying on your back.

When you opened your eyes, you saw some stars peeping out above Karkat. The suburbs outside Miami were far from ideal for stargazing, but on some nights you might be able to make out a few constellations. Karkat followed your line of sight and looked up at the stars, too, but from then on you just looked at him where he sat.

After you had lied there and stared at Karkat for what seemed like ages—definitely _not_ thinking about the ridiculous fight and make-out session you had just had—you sat up. When he looked at you questioningly as you patted around the sand in the dark, you explained, “’M looking for my sunglasses.”

Karkat watched you for a moment, and then he tugged your sleeve. He looked sheepish as he murmured, “Could you leave them off for a little while longer?”

You studied his face for a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”

He laid down on his side, then, gingerly pulling you along with him. You decided that just being there with Karkat was perfectly fine. Suddenly, something clicked in your mind and you knew what you wanted to say.

“Don’t leave.”

He blinked up at you in surprise at the intensity of your words. You gulped and repeated yourself.

“Don’t leave me again. Please.”

His eyes darted back and forth while studying your face. “I won’t if you won’t.”

You decided that, just this once, you could let your face go soft with a smile. “Deal.”

He smiled back at you, eyes wide and hopeful again. You realized that looking into them was far nicer than looking at stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this chapter pretty much just after I posted the last one, but it took a few days to edit and make sure that I got it just right.  
> Anyways idk when the next chapter will be up, (I have an essay I should be writing right now but I'm procrastinating by working on this omg sigh) but shit's gonna go down in the next one I can tell u that. Also I can't find the sheet where I mapped out exactly what would happen in the story so I'm just kinda wingin' it and hopefully remembering what happens next.  
> Hope you're enjoying it so far! Kudos and likes are much appreciated!!


End file.
